What happened next… well… I’ll let you read:
When you are 37 weeks pregnant, and you receive clothes you ordered for post pregnancy, it’s okay to try on the nursing bra, it’s okay to try on the shirts - especially when you find the shirts are actually stretchy enough to wear right freaking now, which is a beautiful thing since you are so sick of all of your clothes.
However, DO NOT get cocky and TRY to try on the one piece swimsuit, purchased to cover the stretch marks. You are NOT smart enough these days to put together the fact that when the swimsuit will NOT go up over your thighs that this is a SIGN that you clearly HAVE put on the recommended 30 pounds of baby weight and NOT a sign of a defective swimsuit. Do NOT then go and put on another swim suit - b/c even when it goes over your thighs it will barely stretch over your stomach - leaving your nipples slightly exposed. You need to go and thank God that you didn’t fall on your butt while you were tangled up in the swimsuit in the first place.